SKY – Chapter 14
“He’s awake. Hleis, how are you feeling?”
“Ugh. Veindelio? Where am I?”
“Center-Storm infirmary.”
“What happened?”
“Reinforcements came, we were able to rescue you from the rubble.”
“Did you beat the mastigs?”
“They were all gone by the time we arrived.”
“Where are the others?”
“… I’m sorry Hleis. You were one of the only survivors.”
___
“Who else survived?”
“Majority were from the group that were trapped outside. They hid and were ignored by the mastigs.”
“And the ones with me in the inner keep?”
“Mostly mages and a handful of soldiers.”
“Mages? Sota!?”
“She’s alive, but comatose like all of the other survivors who were with you.”
“And the soldiers?”
“We weren’t able to recover any bodies. Hleis. I’m sorry. Your friends did not make it. Cruntiq did not make it.”
___
“I can walk.”
“Your wounds are deep, but won’t kill you at this point. Your magical abilities kept you alive.”
“That was all it could do. Keep me alive. Just me.”
“Hleis… This isn’t easy for you. I know. And it won’t be easy to recover from mentally. Go get some rest.”
“I want to walk.”
“As your doctor I need to monitor you.”
“You can watch.”
“Hleis. Don’t think too much on it. Give it some time.”
“I just need to clear my head.”
___
“This is the nurse, can I come in?
“Yes.”
“Food’s here.”
“Just leave it on the table.”
“How was your walk? Good?”
“It was just a walk. Not much is good right now.”
“…Okay… just give me a call if you need anything.”
___
“Good morning. How are you feeling?”
“My wounds are fine Veindelio.”
“Anything else? Feel any different?”
“No. Everything else feels worse.”
“I understand. Let me know if you start feeling anything strange.”
___
“You didn’t eat yesterday. You need to. It’ll help you recover and feel better.”
“Sorry nurse. I just don’t feel like eating right now.”
“Okay… You know, it’s okay to let it out. Don’t just bottle it up inside. You can’t put yourself back together until you let yourself fall apart. Just my thoughts.”
“Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind.”
“Yup. Here, I’ll leave you alone. I’ll tell them not to bother you for the rest of the day.”
___
“It’s me again. Just checking in one last time. Mind if I take a look at the wounds? Change the bandages and apply some medicine?”
“Sure.”
“How’re you holding up?”
“There’s… so much going on in my head. Every time I think I’m going to cry, my mind goes blank. I feel so…vacant…my chest feels so hollow…”
“Only time can truly heal things, but it’d be good to go see your family. You don’t want to spend too much time in isolation.”
“I haven’t seen them in so long… I should also see my friend’s families. And the rest of the town. They must be going through a lot of pain as well.”
“Only when you’re ready. Don’t take too much of the burden onto yourself.”
“It’s my responsibility. I need to protect them. I should’ve protected them…”
“Get some sleep tonight. Also, your wounds are healing really fast.”
“At least that’s good isn’t it?”
“Yes, but it’s alarmingly fast… Well, either way, go get some sleep.”
“I’ll try.”
“Good night.”
___
Yesterday wasn’t as bad as this…I guess my emotional defenses finally gave in…couldn’t distract from it any longer.
I’m tired…I went to sleep early yesterday, but I still want to sleep. I haven’t done anything today. I’m not injured. Time used to stress me out, but why can’t it past faster? It heals everything right?
AH! This hurts so much…My bed’s too warm, it isn’t comfortable, but why can’t I get up? The suns already setting again. We were all prepared to lose people weren’t we? Tyrize’s death didn’t do this to me, so why did this get to me? How is this different?
All the time thinking about growing old together, time I spent fantasizing about the future, all wasted I guess.
My friends all lost their lives, but why does it feel like mine was the one that ended. What do I do now? Can I start over? Make new friends? Should I even attempt to, would it be right to? Can I even succeed? I’m not a child anymore. I feel like so much time has been lost…
Right. I’m alone now. I don’t feel it unless it’s about me, huh? My thoughts are selfish. I’m selfish aren’t I. Have I even thought about the fact that I’m alive? How lucky I am…
No. I still have Sota, but right now I only care about how much it’s hurting me… She was their friend too. Has she woken up yet?
They all had families, parents to think of, people who cared about them, family members to care for… I should be comforting them, yet here I am, uninjured but still unable to move…
What will the town think…they’ll hate me won’t they? They’ll think I ran and hid, didn’t contribute, didn’t fight with my friends and allies, weren’t there to protect them. I killed an alpha, why wasn’t I able to save them? I should’ve fought alongside them. If I survived, they could have also… How could I be the only survivor…Dammit. Back to thinking about myself again it seems…
If they return, if they survived, we’ll have a great party. I would be able to cry happily. We’ll all be happy, who’ll care about the future then when the present would be so pleasant. No, I should’ve learned to not live in fantasies. All the things I can imagine and act out in my head, none of it is real. None of that exists. But it’s so much easier to visualize compared to what actually happened, and what actually exists before my eyes.
Vayling, Maltii, Traer…I’m sorry. It hurts too much to think about you all right now…I’ll always remember our friendships, but for the time being, please let me forget…